erotic book club

Midwinter celebrations by Jerry Gillham

And so it was time for the annual Antarctican celebration of midwinter, the shortest day of the year, celebrated since the very first days of polar exploration as we look forward to the days getting longer and the sun returning to shine on the station.

This is a dedicated week off work, although daily checks continue and we were on standby to carry out any boating work should any of the fishing ships have arrived for inspections.

The first big event of the week was the midwinter olympics, with competitors showing off their talents in the track and field. Paddy (boating officer) won the welly wanging, subsequent drugs tests revealing significantly higher than the acceptable trace levels of Guinness. Neil (field guide, newly arrived Halley refugee) took home the gold for the caber toss before Fraser (doctor) won the javelin with an entirely new throwing technique that he has quickly patented.

Dave (electrician) giving it some with the welly-wang.

Moving into the track events the three-legged race ended in dispute as both Paddy-Jerry and Fraser-Kieran claimed victory. The lack of a clearly defined finish-line was, in retrospect, an oversight. The was further controversy in the pulk-pulling as team Jerry-Paddy was the victim of subterfuge, with others holding onto the back of the sledge. Although the final was close Bob (mechanic) raced home dragging Fraser on his sledge despite the best efforts of Kieran (zoologist) trying to haul him down whilst dragging Vicki (fisheries scientist).

Later that evening I put on a pub quiz, with cocktails to be claimed for niche station knowledge like how many doors in certain buildings and guessing the total weight of cheese on station. I rounded it off with a totally self-indulgent guess the song intro round, all badly played on the banjolele, kazoo or stylophone.

A quiet strumming start and then giving it my all on the kazoo for the Baker Street sax solo was much more fun for me than anyone else.

I was on earlies on midwinter day itself so had done the building checks, made a big cooked breakfast and laid out the stockpile of presents I'd accumulated before the others awoke. Through the year we've been left various crisps, chocolates and drinks by visitors, well wishers and non-wintering staff, some of whom had been very generous indeed (Robbie and Adrian can't go without mention) so what could have been an expensive night was actually exceedingly well supported.

At mid-day we had our traditional mid-winter dip, a dash into the sea followed by an even quicker dash up to the sauna. No heroics for anyone, it's alarming how quickly freezing limbs stop working. Thankfully we were able to properly warm up, helped by Emma and Steve (government officer and partner) providing a mug of mulled wine each.

A little close for comfort but a grand way to warm up.

Early evening, with everyone dressed very smartly, we started our gift exchanges. The midwinter present-giving is a very old tradition; we draw names at random and just make a gift for one person. As always, the dedication, imagination and talent was jaw-dropping.

Midwinter gift collection.

Vicki made me an awesome lamp with copper pipes and sea-glass that looks like tree bark or, because it's so long since I've seen a tree, fronds of a kelp forest. I did a big painting of the local peninsulas for Neil who, with only two days since his arrival, created a lovely wooden ski pole for Fraser, who had made another lamp, this one based around an albatross x-ray. There were photo books, models of the boats (one making use of the broken blender parts to give it a working propellor), beautiful carved shot glasses and a life-sized metallic king penguin with toilet roll holder attachment.

Admiring the penguin Bob made for Kieran.

We'd all chipped in making a big roast dinner. I'd done the cauliflower cheese, yorkshire puddings, parsnips and sprouts (ie. stuff I'm quite particular about how I like it and don't trust other people).

Fraser suturing bacon onto a reindeer leg.

Sitting down to midwinter dinner.

Stuffed full of food we retired to the lounge to listen to the BBC's midwinter broadcast, exceptionally produced by Cerys Matthews with a heart-warming range of good wishes from, amongst others, David Attenborough, Michael Palin, John Carpenter (director of The Thing, traditional midwinter viewing) and Bill Bailey, who'd written a song specially for the occasion.

Dave testing his new shot glasses with their creator Paddy.

The week was wrapped up with the bar crawl, with people making their own place around station. From the upside-down bungee challenge in the boatshed to the frankly disgusting Deja Pu, the creepily decorated laboratory to Paddy's tiny Irish bar, Dave's frankly mental drawing challenges and finishing off with my erotic book club - because there's no better way to round off an evening than getting people to read out badly-written sex scenes from a collection of smutty books inexplicably filling our library.

Challenge 1. Climb up the rope, attach to the bungee cord, pull yourself along as far as you can and place the sponge on the velcro strip.

Sample bags, toilet roll and bog brushes dangling from the basement pipes, drinks served from a toilet... it was difficult to enjoy this bar.

Kieran getting angry that no one could get his perfectly clear illustrations.

Pep for erotic book club